Much Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a big week for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual magazines!

Our very first portion relates to you via xojane, the ladies’s internet site went right up by Jane Pratt (my personal character)

(I’m really serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece is part of the “It Happened in my experience” element which existed at JANE journal and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting personal encounters.

The private writer of this portion, exactly who I’ll phone “Ariel,” is truly bisexual, but because she readily provides hit jobs to her male lovers but doesn’t big date or typically go-down on females, she is, she describes, theoretically, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She in addition identifies herself as “mostly right” and “directly” at various other factors from inside the story.) The woman reputation began, she explains, when the woman very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at her college — took place on the for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which immediately fled the world fearing her own inability to do this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such an extended time frame.

She writes:


“of course, word had gotten around that she and I also had installed and therefore I would remaining their hanging, which in fact had the peculiar effect of providing me personally folk-heroine condition. Kelly labeled as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It actually was like some type of motion picture conceit in which the champion is actually seen erroneously as a high profile and reaches ride in a limo and remain in a fancy resort as a result of it.”

This it seems that completely worked out within her benefit, as she romped about in school connecting with many “aggressive types exactly who got down about idea that I found myself reluctant to leave a woman touch me.” Post-college, she shifted to the internet, where she advertised their calm condition and frequently found with ladies for nsa sex near me

Close to the conclusion she problematically clarifies that whenever connecting with a lady she’s maybe not interested in, she just closes the woman eyes and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it appears like she desires ladies to eat the woman away simply because they’re presumably better at it than the male is. She

could

go down to them but “I am not dating them, and that I don’t think i’d want my fetish corrupted by taking care of somebody adequate to surrender.”

I’dnot need to sit alongside Ariel on a plane, but her one-sided sexual encounters tend to be consensual and she actually is merely telling a genuine story of the woman existence, so I’m not sure what to label of this (and that I’m interested to understand what you will be making of it, if any such thing).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Venture
) there is
I hitched a Lesbian (and that I’m a man)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended in order to get crushes for a passing fancy brand of lady: the celebrity basketball member, the soccer forward, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some were not.” He wondered:


What exactly is it that drew myself many times to women that were same-sex lured? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy regarding what they certainly were performing in bed, also it definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho opinion that i possibly could turn a gay girl right.

In components, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical floor) reminded me personally with this offer from

Girls Next Door

,
that I quoted in an article about feminine manliness
:


“…if we had to manufacture another generalization about lesbian taste, it could be that the majority of all of us tend to be powerfully drawn to females, gay or straight, breathtaking or otherwise not, which look just as if capable take care of by themselves.”

The author sooner or later marries a lesbian which displayed as direct, and he discovered their own ensuing sex life become unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him strike tasks and don’t enjoy entrance but gladly approved his offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their unique sexless matrimony finished in divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he is relatively thoughtful to their ex-wife’s struggle instead of marking the woman as misleading (as much of this commenters carry out):


She had result from a traditional family who does have now been deeply embarrassed for a homosexual child. She may usually have recognized, but did the girl best to conceal it, possibly hoping that her feelings might transform. Or she might-have-been like lots of females I’ve recognized, and simply found her genuine sexual identity after already being hitched to men.

What exactly is redeeming about that essay to me that the author’s conception of their own gender is usually without the original masculine posturing any might anticipate in an item similar to this (he even relates to themselves as “femmy”). Maybe it appears that way because males therefore seldom share wanting powerful, athletic, powerful women with short hair; but it is energizing however.

Really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for advising their particular stories, but it is well worth pointing out that both narratives apparently drive about concept that bedroom behavior is the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning signal” he missed, whenever penetration is barely an exclusively heterosexual work (this indicates more likely Courtney feared the closeness of entrance with a person she failed to truly want become with, but really who knows) and falling crazy, eventually, concerns the vagina but it’s in addition regarding your center and it is typically about having enchanting feelings. Those romantic feelings are what turns a hook-up commitment into a relationship, in the end.

At long last at

nerve.com

we a sweet tale straight from horse’s lips —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I do believe this is the first-time the “first-time” series has actually highlighted a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth grade, the writer confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian feelings on her, and her companion reciprocated, and they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian union and they’re nonetheless with each other now and she is a grown-up into the military!

It seems they will have however to take their unique relationship out from the dresser, basically quite puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: ends up this story was actually composed before DADT had been repealed, though it just got posted, thus there is nothing puzzling happening right here. This is just straight-up nice in most way, unequivocally.]

The focus of part (which can be very sweet and nice) is found on the author’s development of
exactly what lesbian gender IS
:


We’d never been down for each different, and I was actually confident that’s what we might meant when we mentioned we desired to make love. (Now I realize absolutely even more to fucking than slurping a lady’s vagina and phoning it each and every day.)

She concludes:


I know that a lot of men and women differ by what virginity ways to a gay woman, but virginity is entirely personal, and it also truly depends upon who you’re inquiring. Many people might state entrance must be included, but In my opinion it really is up to anyone losing his/her virginity. Basically feel just like I missing my virginity, after that goddammit, We have!

I have invested the majority of the early morning and mid-day staring at word press, trying to figure out exactly what point i possibly could make about any of these parts. I thought alot about the reason we’d never release “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this subject site but cannot work through the explanation that I would fear 50 of you would vow to never come back right here and the remaning many-thousands people would fight with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heat loss of the universe. I envisioned someone posting “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to all of us via e-mail following I thought the editorial conference in which we’d can that story as well as say “NO” as well.

In seeking a spot to gleam from all of these tales, I’ve made an effort to figure out what you might consider or state, and I can’t, and I want to finish this post at the earliest opportunity to speed up the process of myself finding-out how you feel about these tales. Yup, the very first time ever since starting Autostraddle, I had gotten no idea what to say about something. Very maybe i ought to only ask you — what is the a reaction to these pieces?



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